Thursday, March 30, 2006

House of 9 – 2005

Here’s another flick that I have no idea why I put it in my queue, and moved to the top. It’s good, but you still have to wonder where I even heard about it. It’s a UK flick, with Dennis Hopper as a priest! Believe it or not, he pulls it off.

IMDB says they spend $6M on this movie. The set (it kinda all takes place on one big set) is neat, but not a THAT neat. And I’m sure that Dennis Hopper isn’t cheap, but he’s not THAT expensive, so I have to wonder where all that money went.

They certainly didn’t spare any money on stage blood. And I’m always appreciative of that. And the deaths here are much more realistic than, say, Saw or Saw II.

And what a great ending! I like it when I don’t see it coming, but it fits perfectly. This was great. You’ll love it.

No extras whatsoever. No subtitles, commentaries, featurettes, nothing. The only thing on this disc besides the movie is a couple of trailers. That’s a disappointment.

Three beers out of five. A lot better than a sharp stick in the eye!

Hybrid – 1997

I bought this movie from Brinke Stevens at Texas Frightmare Weekend, and she autographed the cover. So I had NO expectations of this movie. It’s directed by Fred Olen Ray, which says cheapie, of course. But hey, buying meant I got to talk to Brinke for a few more minutes, and you can’t get much closer to heaven than that.

I am surprised. This movie doesn’t suck nearly as much as I would expect for a movie that probably only cost $100,000. There are no extras on this disc either, except the standard Fred Olen Ray shtick, so there’s no way of knowing what he spent or how long it took. But it does look better than you would expect for a movie of this class.

It starts out with stock footage from other movies for the first two minutes. I mean, the space ships are even the same from shot to shot, because they’re from different movies. I’ve seen them all before, and if this were a paying gig, I’d research where they are all from. BUT, since it’s a freebie, you’ll just have to take my word for it.

Then there’s the shower scene. Ahhh, a thing of beauty is a joy forever. Very nice. It’s erotic because the women aren’t being ridiculously “lesbianistic” when they’re not lesbians (exploitive b-movies tend to assume that all women are bisexual) but are soaping each other up. It’s pretty hot, and earns a point in and of itself.

Hey, “The Mystery and Lore of Monsters”! I have that book!

The deaths are not nearly gory enough. But then, you’d expect that, ‘cause F.O.R. is NOT a gore master. He gets his “R” the old fashioned way. Naked ladies.

Ahhh, and one hour in, the clips from other movies returns. But, to make up for it, we get to see the big tata’s a second time. Life’s good. Thanx Fred!

Three beers out of five. (At least two are for the nudity.)