Saturday, March 04, 2006

Frankenstein’s Bloody Terror - 1968

     You know, as I watched this Spanish import the first time, I kept thinking, “Any moment now, Frankenstein’s gonna show up”. Yeah, I saw the introductory animation that talked about how Frankenstein had morphed into Wolfstein. Didn’t make a lick of sense, so I ignored it. Guess what?

THERE’S NO FRANKENSTEIN IN THIS MOVIE!

That’s right, not a peep. Its got werewolves in it, its got vampires in it, but no Frankensteins. Now what kind of idiot would name a movie Frankenstein’s Bloody Terror, and then not put any f’in Frankenstein’s in it.

Why, Sam Sherman, of course. And you know, Sam’s (as usual, short) commentary saves this movie from being a one. He at least admits that the title’s a cheat, and explains how it is that he ended up releasing a movie titled Frankenstein’s Bloody Terror that had no Frankenstein in it. Good thing, too, as I was really confused.

There are no subtitles, but there is the aforementioned commentary (which, in true Sam style, ends 15 minutes before the movie does. The good news is that Sam never just recaps what’s happening on the screen like so many directors’ do. The bad news is that once he’s told the story of what lead up to the release of this movie, that’s all he’s got to say, and he signs off).

And in typical Sam Sherman style, he makes the following comment “The title is a cheat, but the film is so good…”..Sorry, Sam, but its not. There are some blood effects which are pretty good for 1968, but overall, this movie’s a dog. Paul Naschy made a name for himself playing werewolves. You think its good. I think its kinda sad. I’ll leave it up to my gentle readers to decide.

Two beers out of five. (a little nudity would have helped this flick A LOT!)

The 70’s Dimension

     Okay, I’ll give everyone fair warning. If you’re not over 40, or drunk, you will probably think this movie stinks. Its actually not so much a movie, as a collection of commercials from the 70’s. If you’re my age, you’ll have a hoot remembering many of these classics. And if you’re drunk, you’ll laugh your ass off at the clumsy advertising and bad clothes. Aside from that, maybe you better give this a pass.

And then there’s the shorts. I have NO idea what they are about. They use old 70’s commercials in one way or another. Most are absolutely incomprehensible. There is one where this giant robot (if memory serves, his name was Tobar, so some such) sings this song about “We’re all gonna die, die, die”. That was pretty cool. But when a giant 70’s robot singing about death is the highlight, you know we’re in weirdsville.

Two beers out of five (hey, it had the crying Indian AND the The Marlboro Man!)