Week of October 1 to October 7

Sunday, Oct 1, 2006
Electric Zombies – (no IMDB entry)

Cell phone signal turns people into automatons – government making people killers, but not really zombies. So this movie is a lie.

Sound is SO uneven, so I can’t always tell what they’re saying. So it’s hard to say what REALLY was going on. But I’m fairly sure that the above description is accurate. Not positive, grant you, but fairly sure.

And no extras, so seriously, give this a miss. Unless you like incomprehensible messes.

Ancient Evil 2 – 2005 – aka Anubis: Guardian of the Underworld

My only impression of this movie is that this guy’s girlfriend may be the biggest bitch EVER! And the disc doesn’t have a single extra at all. But it does have a very funny line:
Female: “Eeeeew, I just stepped in some bear poo!”
Male: “That’s not bear poop, see, there’s toilet paper!”

If you’re not a guy, you probably didn’t think that was funny. Guys probably just did a spit take, like I did when I heard it.

Women Behind Bars Double Feature Disc 1
Deported Women of SS Special Section – 1976

A video nasty. Wow, it’s nearly hardcore. It’s easy to see on this one why it’s a video nasty. You know how I’ve said that many of them weren’t as bad as much that is put out today, that the negative publicity was probably the best thing that ever happened to them, cause otherwise they’d never have gotten any notice. This one is a nasty piece of work, and no doubt.

Terrible transfer – looks like it’s from a VHS tape. But at least I’ve seen it.

Monday, October 2, 2006
I’ll watch the second disc of the Women Behind Bars later, as they don’t have extras.

Chaos – 2002

Text crawl at the beginning acts as a disclaimer, pretty lame way of trying to dodge the fact that it’s disgusting. And it is disgusting. And the director is proud of the fact that it’s the most intense movie ever made. But my first thought was, “What is this, Last House On The Left”? IMDB says that this was originally pitched as a remake of LHOTL. And hoyboy!! The ending is over the top!

No subs, but there is a commentary by writer/director and the Producer. Some interesting facts: the crew walked off (huh, who’d have thought a crew would object to what happens in this movie). They had a hard time finding women to play these rolls. Huh, I wonder why. The 15 day shoot went to 24 days. Then fought for 4 years to get it out. There are other extras. A short on the Roger Ebert controversy. Guess he didn’t like it much. Can’t imagine why someone wouldn’t want to see women tortured. Also, there’s “Inside the Coroner’s Office”, which is weird and wild. The director is a muscle bound freak and the coroner actually thinks that Meth leads to demon possession.

Tuesday, October 3, 2006
Something Weird Video’s Divine Double Feature (Harry Novak Goodness)
Angels – 1976

Vincent Schiavelli (One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest & Buckaroo Banzai). IMDB says that this is a comedy. I’m not seeing it.

Very weird. I have no idea even what kind of movie this is. WTF?

Getting Into Heaven – 1970

Well, if I’d been starving for big boobies and simulated sex, I’m stuffed now. ‘nuff said. Don’t bother with anything else on this disc, but this one “pays for all”.

Wednesday, October 4, 2006
Women Behind Bars Double Feature, Disc 2
Escape From Women’s Prison – 1978

“a story of sex and violence”. Another VHS transfer. And it’s not a true WIP movie at all. They escape within the first 10 minutes. It’s really a hostage movie, and not very good at that. Good thing I got satiated with boobage yesterday.

Thursday, October 5, 2006
Visions of Suffering – 2006

Well, this was about the weirdest thing I’ve ever sat thru. We start out with a guy dreaming about trees making Food of the Gods. Then he has a lovely lunch, a cup of mud and a raw piranha sandwich. And finally, we have zombies, but they sound like Ewoks.

There’s subtitles, which is good since it’s only in Russian. There doesn’t appear to be any plot (if there was, I didn’t get it), just disturbing images. I then click to see how much more there is left, and discover that there’s TWO FREAKING HOURS of this stuff. Dear Lord!

There was a single Extra, a Making of Featurette with interviews. Didn’t clear a single thing up. Thanx for nothing.

Friday, October 6, 2006
Bone Sickness – 2004

This is more like it. Still not so sure about the plot, but at least we have nice juicy, gory effects. This is a true zombie movie, and it’s really messy. Gorehounds take note, this is a keeper.

No subs, but there is a Commentary by the director & the main actor. They said they “wanted to go all out on the gore”. Success! Two guys who love horror movies spending years making a movie while holding down real jobs. And they’re the guys who make Mummy Raider with Misty Mundae!

Other extras including several featurettes:
Behind the Scenes
Scenes That Hurt
Outtakes
Interview with Brian Paulin
Having Fun on the Set

Saturday, October 7, 2006
The Ghouls – 2003

With a budget of $9K (per IMDB), that was obviously only spent on cigarettes. There’s more smoking in this movie than in the last 25 combined. Plus, the main character is about 3 steps below Kolchak, the Night Stalker. This guy is an absolute scumbag. So although it tries, it’s tough to make us care about him and feel sorry for him after they spent 45 minutes showing us what an asshole he is.

And the ending credits are completely hosed. Skip this one, unless you like movies about assholes.

The Woods – 2003

Bruce Campbell!!!! And in a straight, serious role. Ohhh, this is directed by Lucky McKee (of May fame, and MOH “Sick Girl”).

This movie features the largest collection of creepy women EVER. But it’s a pretty good flick. At least it’s a relatively novel approach, and the women are very effective (or they really are creepy).