Week of August 7 thru 13

Monday, August 7, 2006
Jacquelyn Hyde – 2005

     This is a very strange woman. She goes to a tit bar alone, and watches porn by herself. Not like any woman I’ve ever known. What we are dealing with here is a movie where the doctor’s formula changes a woman to give her complete control of her body, which kinda makes her go nuts with power. It would have been a better movie, I think, if it had been made by Subversive Cinema.

No subs, but there is a commentary with the writer/director, and the main actress. This discussion is boring, however, as they just repeat what is happening on the screen, and why, and not enough background to the movie and it’s making in the process. And it’s kinda funny how often they say “well, that really didn’t work” during production.

There is also a making of featurette which was pretty good, and some deleted scenes.

Tuesday, Aug 8, 2006
The Black Hole – 2006

     I was tricked! I rented this from Blockbuster, and no where on the case does it say that it’s a made for SciFi Channel movie. God, these suck! This has to have the worst science in a SF movie EVER. If you want a perfect example of dumb TV, here it is. And the monster is a direct steal of the Creature from the ID from Forbidden Planet. The director even admits this in the making of featurette.

However, if you want to see an example of how sound and music can really come awfully close to polishing a turd, this movie is an excellent example. Most people won’t notice how mind-numbingly stupid this movie is, because the foley and music are good. Sort of like Armageddon.

Actually, the science discussion on the IMDB Forum for this movie entitled “Uh….there can’t be a black hole on Earth” is more entertaining than the movie.

The only extra is the making of featurette, Exploring the Black Hole.

Wednesday, Aug 9, 2006
SWV – Burlesque Double Feature
Ding Dong – 1941 aka Night at the Moulin Rouge

     This is just a taping of a full burlesque show, circa 1941. If you want to see what was considered funny and risqué’ 60 years ago, here you go. By today’s standards, these girls couldn’t get work at DAY SHIFT dancers/strippers. I’ve never seen such wooden movement. And of course, you see absolutely NOTHING. Oh, and the comedians? In name only. These bits are about as funny as hemorrhoids.

Merry Maids in a Gay Way – 1943

     Yeah, the title is really off by today’s standards. Here we see another burlesque show, two years latter, and some of the girls are a little better. Not so lucky with the comedians, however.

And the usual boatload of extras. There are 10 burlesque shorts and two trailers. This one is for history buffs only.

Thursday, Aug 10, 2006
Aeon Flux – 2005

     Yeah, I know, not the kind of movie you’d expect me to see. Well, I’ve built up a few of these more modern, big budget movies that I’m going to be clearing out during the next couple of weeks. And I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised by this movie. Although it’s not as freaky as the animated series on MTV, it’s not nearly as bad as, say, Ultraviolet.

For one, it’s more original, more interesting, and LOTS more followable. Still, I am really getting tired of these PG-13 movies where the heroes are indestructible, and all of the opponents just drop like flies.

There are two commentaries. One by Charlize Theron (who plays Aeon) and female producer Gale Hurd. And Ms Hurd needs to be slapped, for speaking so stupidly. “We had a limited budget”. What, are there movies that have an unlimited budget? Twenty six MILLION dollars is NOT a limited budget. There are directors who could make twenty great movies with that much money.

Oh, and guy playing Claudio is Klaus Kinski’s son. That’s interesting.

The second commentary is with Co-screenwriters Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi. Here we are treated to lots of discussion of the conflicts over the script. I’m thinking, what do you expect when you have two people writing it, and you are watering down existing source material.

There are also five featurettes. All in all, a better night’s viewing than I expected.

Friday, August 11, 2006
Project: Valkerie – 2002

     Ahhhh, Tempe Video. True independence. This low budget flick is a homage to sixties SF movies, and giant robot movies (the giant robot is only about six foot tall). There are NO special affects, and very little budget. Still, it’s a fun little flick.

The bad guy is a great version of the Red Skull (and you are a serious comic geek if you get that reference, ‘cause I bet the Red Skull hasn’t been in a comic book for 30 years). Ehhhh, the bad guy pees with his mouth, to infect the others. THAT’s pretty disgusting.
And there’s a little gore, to keep things lively.

There’s a commentary, where we learn that this is a Pittsburg Indy project, and little else. There’s a making of Featurette, that’s fairly interesting. A Blooper reel is always appreciated. And a short student film that is sort of a prequel. This was a fun watch.

Saturday, August 12, 2006
SWV – Sexy 70’s Double Feature
Wilbur and the Baby Factory – 1970

     Watching this movie made me realize just how much I miss the seventies. There was SO much junk science about overpopulation and starvation (probably like we’ll discover global warming is in thirty years).

This movie is a real trip. They’re quoting from a book entitled “The Crazy Ape” (which is real), saying that there will be mass famine by 1975. Kinda missed that one, then there’s implied sex between pre-teens, which is pretty disturbing. This is a sexploitation flick with a pretty nasty undercurrent. It’s seriously psychotropic.

Tanya – 1976

     Ahhh, a sexploitation flick based on Patty Hurst. With even more nudity and sex than the first movie. This is a really great sexploitation treasure.

There’s an interview with Harry Novak by Mike Varney that’s absolutely priceless too. This is a much better offering from Something Weird Video than their last couple. I haven’t enjoyed a disc this much since The DickTator.

Sunday, August 13, 2006
Retromedia Mammoth Double Feature
War Gods of Babylon – 1962

     The trick to following these old sword and sandal flicks (especially those from Italy, like this one) is the names. They all kinda look alike, and the names are so weird, you cannot remember who is who.

Guess I’m an idiot, because I don’t understand what’s happening here at all. Why is the good guy killing himself?

No extras at all, no subs or commentary.

War Goddess – 1974

     They apologize at the beginning that it’s pieced together from multiple prints. Never a good sign. A Spanish flick, in which Greek soldiers meet up with the Amazon’s, for procreation purposes. Huh. I thought they were a little more separated than that.

Yet this was directed by Terence Young, who directed the first three James Bond movies (Dr. No, Thunder ball, and From Russia with Love). Much better movie than the first one. If for no other reason than there is tit in the first reel.

Space Amoeba – 1970 aka Yog: Monster From Space

     Looks a lot more like a squid than an Amoeba. Oh, it is a squid. The space amoeba’s are inside it. Sorry, got confused there.

I like this movie if for no other reason than bats are our allies, for once.

There’s subtitles for the movie, and a Japanese commentary track that is also subtitled. The commentary is really good (considering you have to read it), lots of details of folks at Toho in 1970. It does tend to drag in the middle a little.