Monday, May 01, 2006

Turkish Pop Cinema Double Feature

Tarkan vs The Vikings – 1971

     Turkish movies are amazing in their audacity. They steal from everywhere with abandon. They have a more “Western” sensibilities than, say, the Chinese. But it’s definitely not European. And this warrior epic is a perfect example. The closest thing I can compare it to would be a Conan-sort of thing. But the colors are too bright, for example. How do you make those bright blues in the Middle Ages?

And the Vikings worship an inflatable Octopus God. Now the boring, repetitive music gives way to the soundtrack from 2001: A Space Odyssey. And finally, a dog climbs a sheer cliff, without a rope. He’s better than Batman from the 60’s TV show!

No nudity, no commentary, but there are subtitles. Which is good, since the dialogue is in Turkish. Watch this when you are in the mood for the truly bizarre.

Two beers out of five

The Deathless Devil – 1973

     Here we go again, only now it’s some kind of powerless superhero. With music that sounds EXACTLY the same as Tarkan from two years earlier. That plays for awhile, and then suddenly I heard the Pink Panther theme.

The bad guy is Dr. Satan (gotta love that name). And our hero fights with Turkish Kung Fu. But the bad guy counters with a cardboard box robot (aka like in the Mexican classic Robot vs the Aztec Mummy). And the safe where the top secret device is stored? A desk draw, of course.

Here at least we have boobage, but it’s not very nice. I’m afraid that Turkish women don’t wear bras enough, and their diet isn’t the best. So their shape is not exactly fashion ready. And then we have more stolen Bond music. Plus, we are afflicted with what must be the worst case of Odious Comic Relief EVER! And then the film closes with the stolen tune Popcorn.

Two beers out of five. Again, watch only if you are hungry for the truly bizarre.