Friday, May 19, 2006

The Nun – 2005

     This film was made in Spain, where evidently everyone can lipread, but are deaf. The music and sound effects are WAY too loud, and the dialogue way too soft. And of course, there’s no subtitles. So, better the rotten volume levels, and the accents, I have no idea what anyone is saying about half the time.

A demon nun? Well, that’s novel. And there sure is a lot of water in this movie. Hmmm, Spain, water. A quick trip to IMDB confirms what I suspected (and the closing credits too, but if it was in the opening credits, I didn’t see it). This movie was produced by Brian Yuzna, Stuart Gordon’s long time partner.

And here’s another revelation for all you would be film makers. Dark with flashing lights (like flickering flouresencents or lightning) is no better than just plain dark. You still can’t tell what the hell is going on, we know it’s done so the special effects don’t have to be good, and it’s just plain irrating. Stop it right now!

Two beers out of five (how can there be so many young women in a movie and there not be any boobage. Oh, yeah, convent and all. Never mind.)

No Survivors Please – 1964

     Another movie saved from oblivion by a TV playing recorded and digitized and released by RetroFlicks. This one is about aliens who plot to destroy humanity by first killing off and then taking over the bodies of important people and getting them to lead us to atomic war. It’s kind of a novel idea, and the reporter getting suspicious that all these important people were disappearing and then impossibly reappearing alive was easy to accept.

And the use of stock footage in place of special affects was actually cleverly done. There’s a wreck at a Le Mans race that I’m sure was real. And of course, the stock footage of the atomic test.

Overall, this is a decent little flick. Certainly worth the $10 Retroflicks charges. I enjoyed it more than The Nun, if that tells you anything.

Three beers out of five