Friday, January 13, 2006

Evil Breed: The Legend of Samhain (2003)

     What can possibly go wrong with a slasher movie enacted by four famous porn stars. Well, according to director Christian Viel, practically everything. He complains vigorously in the IMDB forums that he is not to plan for the shortcomings of this flick, but that his producer screwed him. Well, fair enough. Certainly he’s not the first to make that complaint. At least American audiences can see the two great gore scenes he was upset about them editing them out. They are located in the extras as “Uncut” scenes. They still not great, but they are certainly better than the short, watered down version in the film. Also, Christian claims that his ending was never shot, but that the producer had a new director shoot “their” ending. Whosever it is, it pretty damn poor. I mean, it makes no damn sense whatsoever. I can accept pretty much anything, provided that some kind of explanation is given. But can anyone tell me why the hell this happens? No, I thought not.

And yeah know, for a movie with 4 porn stars in it, there really isn’t all THAT much bare bosom shown. If you’re gonna have a tired old premise, rerun from every previous slasher movie before, the least you can do is a bare breast about every 10-15 minutes. Not all bunched up at the end. And its pretty sad when the porn stars out act the “real” actors. Tells ya something, doesn’t it?

Too dark during many of the key scenes, no subs, but at least the audio is clear. No commentary or making of, but then, after reading what the director says, I guess that’s to be expected.

Three out of five beers. The two uncut scenes save it from a two.

The Living Corpse (1967) – aka Dracula in Pakistan

     There are several companies that ALWAYS release the kinds of movies I love. I’ve already ranted earlier about the ever-excellent Something Weird Video. Mondo Macabra is another, specializing in wacky foreign flicks. This one is a dozy. A vampire movie, made in Pakistan in 1967. Supposedly, this was the first X rated movie made in Pakistan. They sure must have been sensitive in Pakistan in 1967. There’s no bare breasts, the only blood is a little dripply down a lip, nothing is shown, in fact. There’s only one scene where the fangs actually touch the neck of the victim (the rest, the scene is cut away before any violence is shown).  And then, just to make sure that we’re kept off balance. Every 15 minutes, there’s a song and dance number. And you gotta see these dances. Image a drunk bellydancer in 50’s teeniebopper garb. Too bizarre.  And the music goes from PD classical to goofy 30’s comedy soundtrack.

There are subtitles, obviously, as the audio is NOT English.  There is a nice commentary that features a two film experts, one from the US and one from Pakistan. Very nice. Plus two features on horror in South Asia in general, and Pakistan in particular. Fascinating stuff, especially in light of present day problems in that area.

Two beers out of five. Don’t watch it sober, or alone!