Week of Saturday May 12 through Friday May 18, 2007

Saturday, May 12, 2007
Mummy Theme Park - 2000

Wow, what a hurter! Models are pathetic and plentiful. Obviously Italian, both by bad dubbing and stupid ideas. It's bad as only cheap Italian movies can be; in other words, hysterical!

The transformation scene at minute 37 is the best part of the whole movie. And no extras to speak of. This is only for fans of Italian cinema. Pretty painful.

Mikadroid - 1991 (Japan) aka Robokill Beneath Disco Club Layla

Toho! Blood effects are poor, but what do you expect? Toho has never been into gore. Short, and that's with lots of time spent staring offscreen.

Other extras include a Making of Special, that features a full history of how the movie got made. And an About the Film - which is a text article that's pretty interesting. Horror goes out of favor due to a serial killer of children in Japan. So they change the movie from Miko Zombie to Mikodroid, since SF is still safe. Today's movies are pretty much a bust.

Monday, May 14, 2007
El Topo - 1970

This is one of those movies that everyone who's a "movie professional" says you ought to watch. So here goes. And I'm watching the 5.1 Italian soundtrack first, for purity. I'm expecting visual funky-ness. And within the first 15 minutes, we've had wild visuals and several WTF moments. And at least there's some natural boobage to keep things interesting.

Why do some of the women sound like men, even in the native language soundtrack? (we learn from the commentary that it's all dubbed, even the Italian, and he didn't use the same people's voices, for effect).

And speaking of commentary, this has to be the strangest commentary ever. They are in subtitles, and there's NO sound for them. It's the English soundtrack. Very distracting. And the commentary is FULL of philosophy and Italian theory of cinema.

Other extras include an interview with the director. He is a VERY philosophical guy. Pretty empty of extras for a Criterion release. But I gotta admit, this was almost exactly what I expected. Weird and wild visuals abound. If you like that kind of thing, watch it. Otherwise, mainstream folks need not apply.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Holy Mountain - 1973

More Alejandro Jodorowsky madness. Images and many people look familiar. But it's MUCH more symbolic and philosophical than El Topo (if you can imagine such a thing!).

Commentary is practically a class in philosophy, a VERY detailed discussion of symbols and their meaning and power. The fact that you must read it over the "action" of the movie (see description in El Topo above) makes it even more intellectually challenging. Heady stuff.

Other extras include a deleted scenes (with commentary, none will be missed), The Tarot (with commentary - a fascinating explanation of the major Arcanum. Cool stuff well done. May be my favorite extra in months), and a documentary on the Restoration Process (VERY informative, technical, and interesting).

Overall, I enjoyed these, but you need to be either a philosopher or a film student.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007
The Cars That Ate Paris - 1974

Another movie that has been on my wishlist for a long time. Having seen it now, I couldn't say why. It's not gory, its not scary, its not even very interesting. I mean, it's an Australian town that does an immoral act over and over again, and then wonders why they have a youth problem. Yeah, okay. Who cares?

The Plumber - 1979

I can sum up this movie in two words; dreadfully dull.

Other extras include an interview with Peter Weir. It's hard to believe that the director of these two snoozefests would go on to direct a ton of big budget flicks (Witness, Dead Poet Society, Truman Show, and Master & Commander).

Thursday, May 17, 2007
Horror 101 - 2000

Standard, slickly made snoozefest. Man, I must be getting jaded, as the normal stuff just doesn't do it for me any longer. And once again (this seems to be happening more and more) I hate every one of the characters, and hope that they all die.

I thought the ending was funny, although I doubt it was meant to be.

Other extras include an Electronic Press kit, which is actually a making of / behind the scenes. And it's all the way to here before I realize that the teacher is Bo Derek. I didn't even recognize her. Take from that what you will.

Friday, May 18, 2007
Horror 102 (End Game) - 2004

So far (first 30 minutes) even dumber and duller than the first. Just another haunted mental hospital flick. This has been done a half a dozen times, and better every time.

I'm sure the ending is supposed to be shocking and scary, but once again, I hated everyone and just wished they'd all be offed in particularly unpleasant ways.

Museum of the Dead - 2004

What is this, an home video? CG effects by Amiga 5000. Stupid, dull, like the others on this disc. It's like it's trying to be so hip and scary, and it's just lame. Skip, and don't watch anything else James Glenn Dudelson has anything to do with. Let's not encourage these people. I mean, I love bad movies. But I HATE this kind of psuedo-bad crap.