Week of May 30 through Thursday June 5, 2008

Friday & Saturday, May 30-31, 2008
Legend House Double Feature
Torture Chamber of Dr. Sadism - 1967 aka Blood Demon

Chris Lee! And that is the only remarkable thing about this movie. Oh, and the title. A great title. And an unremarkable movie. The disc has a commentary by two people who's names I barely caught, Chris D. and Wyatt. Neither involved with the movie, or a real movie expert. There was, however, a surprisingly good discussion of historical details of actors and crew. So it turned out to be more engaging than the movie. Which was a good watch, don't get me wrong. Just nothing to write home about.

Death Smiles On A Murderer - 1973 Italian

Directed by Aristide Massaccesi, aka Joe D'Amato. So you know it's gonna be sleazy fun. And there's everybody's favorite madman, Klaus Kinski. And what we have a serious WTF movie. If you like that kind of thing, and lean towards the Giallo, then you ight enjoy this. I, on the other hand, who usually like Giallos and WTF, did not. KK couldn't save it.

Commentary is by the same guys as above, and is similar to the first, except they liked this movie for all the reasons that I hated it. Go figure. That's why I say that if you like the ingredients, you might like it. Others obviously do. Me, not so much.

There was also the usual Johnny Legend interviews and stuff about the movie that are usually worth the price of admission. Johnny's a hoot, and he does tend to interview, however poorly, folks who know a thing or two about these movies.

Sunday, June 1, 2008
The Witch's Sabbath - 2005

Although it's from Brain Damage films (know for bringing us the goriest stuff available) and has lots of blood, it's really more like a film from Retro-Cinema. It has Syn DeVil, and tons of fake blood, but no gore, so the only thing it's missing is Misty Mundae.

National Treasure 2 - 2007

Hey, it's Alicia Coppola from Jericho. And that Buckingham Palace guard, that's Peter Woodward who plays Galan the Techno Mage in B5. As the to movie itself, it's an action movie. Turn off brain and enjoy the ride. Don't be looking for anything else. You'll only come up empty. But as action movies go, especially ones that feature one of the worst actors of our age, Nicolas Cage, it's pretty good.

Commentary is by director Jon Turteltaub and actor Jon Voight (who is MUCH more talented than Nicolas). Some tech, some behind the scenes, but WAY too much gushing about the actors. The most interesting thing is that although this is a big budget Hollywood movie, the script was unfinished when they started shooting. For a movie this big, that is insane. I can't believe that a studio, especially Disney, would even let them start until everything was locked down. Unbelievable.

Monday, June 2, 2008
Decadent Evil 2 - 2007

Well, it's got really expensive looking and sounding credits. And we have boobsign! At last! Been a long, dry spell. I'm disappointed that the dwarf character of Ivan is no longer Phil Fondacaro, but is now played by Ricardo Gil, so isn't nearly as good.

Once again, as in the original, the music and credits are the high point. Plot and acting are usual Full Moon level, cheap but entertaining. And the boobage was nice.

Extras are the best point of this movie. First, we have the auditions of all the women playing strippers in the movie, who all work at a tittybar in Little Rock, Ar called Visions. Nice work when you can get it, Charles.

The second extra is a Battle of the Bands, also shot in Little Rock, at a club called Vinos. All the music in the movie is by local metal bands who battled it out one night to get into the movie. And I've never seen so much Pabst Blue Ribbon tall boys being consumed. Wow. What a crowd. I didn't know there was an intersection of redneck and heavy metal. Shows you what I know. Obviously it's alive and well in Little Rock.

Finally, there's a Stories from the Making of. Not very good, really. Kinda dull. The strippers were the highlight of the disc, followed closely by the Battle of the bands.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008
War of the Worlds 2 - 2008

If there was ever any doubt that I'm a glutton for punishment, this movie proves it. Yes, I actually rented and watched the sequel to the terrible C. Thomas Howell version of War of the Worlds. What is wrong with me?

The ship designs are actually cool, but they don't look like they're there. I don't know if its shadows, or too sharp or what. But they just don't look real. Other than that, the plot is a little better than the first. It's novel, anyway.

Other extras include a Making of that's short and not so good. Nothing of any detail. Then there's the Magic of C. Thomas Howell. Criss Angel he ain't. Although the nickel trick was pretty good.

Goliath and the Dragon - 1960 Italy
(were sword and scandal movies made anywhere else?)

This movie features the cheapest 3-headed fire breathing dog ever filmed. It is the highpoint in an otherwise dull, painful, terrible, dreadful movie. What could have helped this disaster? Well, boobage would have been a good start. And a plot. And characters you give a shit about. O, wait, did I say that out loud? Sorry.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Tripping the Rift, The Movie - 2007

Good, funny, too short. And still too censored. I really wish that Showtime or someone would pick this up, and they really ran with the raunchy. Okay, I just want to see Six's titties, but still...

Only extra is the Captain's Log, which is a Making of. It's super short too. What a rip-off.

Mars Attacks - 1996

I picked this movie up for a song at a CVS, believe it or not. This is classic stuff. Tim Burton is a genius. Alas, it's not a good as it could have been, but it's better than I remember it being. Not sure why I was so disappointed by it initially. Maybe because, it too feels restrained. It just seems like it could have really let loose, but someone held it back. Don't know, can't put my finger on it.

Thursday, June 5, 2008
The Necro Files - 1997

Okay, so we're in Violent Sh*t territory here. Orange blood, impossibly still alive characters, etc. But like V.S., it has more "You've got to be kidding me, I can't believe I'm seeing this" moments than you can shake a stick at. Baby doll as a real baby flying thru the air attacking people, zombie rape, etc. Yeah, it's got it all. Only the hardcore need apply. I, however, being the sick individual that I am, enjoy'd it.

Necro Files 2 - 2003

No flying baby doll, but more blood and nudity, including full beaver shots. Gotta like that. Otherwise, more of the same as our insane heroes continue to battle the forces of evil (and their own internal demons).