Red Room - 1999
Japanese is an interesting language. This movie is entitled "Akai misshitsu (heya): Kindan no ôsama geemu". That sure is a lot of letters to say Red Room. At only 68 minutes long, it would take me longer for me to learn how to pronoun this movie than to watch it. But many people won't even be able to watch this. It starts out kinda depraved and slides downhill rapidly.
The fake noises are a little funny, so it takes away a little of the "disgusting-ness". But really, there's little to recommend this unless you like simulated sex, rape, and dismemberment.
Basically, only fans of the Guinea Pig series need only apply. It's not as good as the Guinea Pigs, but along the same lines. I didn't mind, but many will be offended.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
The Illusionist - 2006
Excellent movie, moody and arty with a good story. Created at a cost of $16.5 million, and it grossed 39.8M in the USA only before DVD. Not too shabby. And it has an excellent, "Sixth Sense" sort of ending. And it had subtitles!
Commentary is by Director/Writer (Neil Burger). Unfortunately, he pissed me off early on. He dares to say this is a low budget movie. Sixteen and a half million dollars is low budget? Horseshit!
There were some nice technical details later on, so he rallied. And there were other extras. A Making of featurette and an interview with Jessica Biel. Overall, just watch the movie and enjoy.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Deep South Double Feature - Harry Novak Presents (Something Weird Video)
Sweet Georgia - 1972
Boobage within the first three minutes! Very nice. The opening credits is 4 minutes long, and lead to.... a cut to a completely different movie!
And we have a pretty standard sexploitation movie, but with a kinda "Horror" ending. Fair, but short.
Country Hooker - 1970
Rene Bond!!!! All other considerations secondary. Any movie that shows Rene Bond's boobies with the first 10 minutes is okay by me.
And plenty of pickle and beaver, for those of you who've heard all the Dave Friedman commentaries. Great sex, lousy ending.
Extras include the usual ton of trailers (including a great looking sexploitation called Dr. Carstair's 1869 Love-Root Elixir) Bonus short was Marsha Jordon's Swingers Party which wasn't very swinging (it was in B/W and out of focus). And the usual galleries of exploitation art and photos.
Tuesday, January 22, 2007
Cave of Silken Web - 1967 (Shaw Bros)
I saw a preview for this on a recent Chinese movie, and had to watch it. It has subtitles, which is good, since there's no English soundtrack. But then, it's hard to find people who can SING about killing and eating people. Yeah, you read that right, the spider demons dance and sing about capturing, killing, and eating their victims. And two of the main "good guys" are Monkey King (a guy with a some monkey makeup on) and Pigy (a Tor Johnson clone with a pig snout). Those wacky Chinese!
The fighting, alas, is not very good. But it's bright and colorful Too bad the plot is unfollow-able. And what's with this "master"? He's awfully wimpy for a master. Master of what, I wonder? Baiter?
Only extras are 2 super sets of trailers, which alas I've seen before. Still, this would make a great party movie.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
UKM - Ultimate Killing Machine - 2006
Four losers are given a radical Army treatment to turn them into UKMs. This movie had a $5M budget. See if you can spot it. I think the producer may have skimmed a few million. And the disk is cheap too. No subs, no commentary, no extras at all.
It's not bad, but it's not good either. Some gore, but not enough to make it interesting all the way through. Really nothing novel or interesting here. Move along.
Ax 'em - 2002
Budget of $650. And that's too much. All these people should be fined. This is nothing but a bunch of urban jibber jabber. Absolutely unintelligible unless your Fifty cent. Obviously shot on VHS, and the only mic was the one built into the camcorder.
This has to be the biggest POS I've ever rented. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new bottom to the barrel.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Girls of the Jungle (SWV)
Bowango, Bowango - 1951 aka White Sirens of Africa
Since this was shot in 1951, there's no boobies. No acting or decent dialogue either. Some nice mats, though. This is laugh out loud funny in it's badness. THIS is what watching bad movies is all about. I mean, the odious comic relief is a Mexican. In Africa. Yeah, it's that weird. And the leading man (Lewis Wilson) played Batman in the 1943 movie.
Wild Women of Wongo - 1958
At least it's in color. And now the Odious Comic relief is a parrot. Still no boobies, though. Not nearly as funny.
Virgin Sacrifice - 1959
Hey, finally! Some true nakedness. More plot than the other two, but if possible, even worse acting. And half the movie is an on-foot chase.
And rounding out this disc is a silent short with boobies from the 30's!
Friday, January 26, 2007
Spirit Trap - 2005
It's Billie Piper, Dr. Who Season One (new series) companion. That must be why I put this British flick in my queue. It had subtitles, but no commentary.
Ehhhh, a drug dealer. that can't be good. Hoped he would go first. No such luck.
Actually, this wasn't too shabby. It was better than I expected (but then, I have low expectations for most British horror movies). This had a relatively novel plot, and pretty good acting.
The only extras are interviews with the cast.
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