Week of November 5, 2006 through November 11, 2006

Sunday, November 5, 2006

Specters of the Spectrum – 1999

WOW, what a mind freak! What we have here is a huge collage of sci-fi and horror movies, glued together and intercut with some local actors telling a story of the post-acopolypse battle for the airwaves. It is hard to say how much of this is true (especially about Tesla), but it is very fun to spot movies you know and love.

Commentary by director Craig Baldwin and a film critic. The director is sort of a techno-hippie. Movie is an allegory for anti-big-business.

Only bonus Material is a featurette called Behind the Spectrum (which isn’t a true behind the scenes, but just another montage, without a story).

Night Caller From Outer Space – 1965 aka Blood Beast from Outer Space

Well, the only person you will recognize here is the ever-popular John Saxon (who is of course in everything from Nightmare on Elm Street to Cannibal Apocalypse). The Director (John Gilling) wrote The Gorgon (with Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee) then went on after this to direct Plague of the Zombies, The Reptile, and the Mummy’s Shroud.

At the beginning of this sleepy camp-fest, there is an old British Censor slate saying it’s rated X, no one under 17 blah blah blah. One hour in, and I’m still wondering why. I never found out, as there’s nothing in this flick that would even get an “R”. I’d almost think that the slate is fact, to stir up interest. Or is just the idea of kidnapping women for breeding purposes so shocking to the British that they think young people would be corrupted by it. I was just bored.

No sub, no commentary, no interest. Avoid.

Monday, November 6, 2006
A Lost Horror Film by Brian DePalma
Murder a la Mod – 1967

Brian’s first full length feature! And it features Jared Martin (Dr. Forester from the TV Show “War of the Worlds”). Also featuring the ever-freaky William Finley (Winslow Leach in Phantom of the Paradise and the recently seen Silent Rage). It keeps returning to previous time, and showing unseen angles. Which sounds real clever on paper, and I bet he sold it as real innovative, but in the end, it’s just incomprehensible.

An Eye for the Girls – (no imdb entry, and what a shock)

I have no idea where they dug this thing, but it needs to be reburied. I can sum up this thing in one word – BORING!

The Moving Finger – 1963

Now this is much more interesting. A movie about theft. Starts off with petty crime, and then progresses to a bank robbery that goes bad. And the criminal gets hurts and goes to hide out in Greenwich Village, in the pad of the petty thieves.

Ahhh, don’t cha just love a happy ending?

Tuesday, November 7, 2006
Piranha – 1978

Such a classic example of 70’s horror. The hero and heroine are played by folks you’ve never heard of. But the rest of the cast? Completely made up of famous or once famous folks. Look at this lineup. Barbara Steele, Kevin McCarthy, Dick Miller, Kenaan Wynn, and Paul Bartel, directed by Joe Dante. How can this movie be bad?

There’s a great commentary with Joe Dante (director) and Jon Davison (producer). Very informative, and Joe is very humble. With a budget of $660K shot in 20 days, with lots of sweat in the edit suite, this was excellent.

Other extras include a bloopers reel, which includes a bunch of Barbara Steele’s F’ ups (pretty funny). There’s also a Making of, which was home movies from the set.

Wednesday, November 8, 2006
It’s an HP Lovecraft Mini-festival
The Resurrected – 1992

A Richard Band soundtrack, which explains why it sounds like a Full Moon Video.

Dan O’Bannon directed (also directed Return of the Living Dead, and wrote a ton of other great stuff) this version of Case of Charles Dexter Ward (which is probably the most done story of Lovecraft’s).

The first hour is pretty slow and dumb, but BOY, it got good at the end. Some great special effects here, including a flat living thing that was extremely disturbing.

No extras at all, no subs or commentary. Rats.

Unknown Beyond – 2001

This is one grimy, dirty SOV movie by the Italians. Subtitled (since only an Italian soundtrack), but no commentary. Not based on any one story, but the mythos as a whole. Earth is in rebellion of the Old Ones. Doesn't that sound like a fun time. No? Huh.

And no happy ending. That’s appropriate.

Thursday, November 9, 2006
Turned on Double Feature from SWV
Alice in Acidland – 1968

As most of you know, I love SWV discs. I’m about to see a bunch of them, by way of Netflix. We start off with a pair of druggie movies.

“LSD, or acid as it’s called, corrupts morals”. Yeah, ‘cause, you know, no girl ever had premarital sex before drugs came around.

Shot without sound, so the only sound is voice-over (overly dramatic, of course) and jazz music. Pretty standard exploitation fare. Ahhhh, now we’re making up for the lack of boobage these last few days.

Ah yes, the 60’s. Back when people could have sex thru their underwear. Surprisingly, this secret has been lost to recent generations. I’ve not seen anyone have sex with the guy still in his underwear in any movie made after about 1972, when the secret was obviously lost.

“Long trip to acidland, never to return”

Aphrodisiac – The Sexual Secret of Marijuana – 1971

You gotta love a documentary that starts out with a woman saying that Marijuana is “the greatest sexual stimulants since they invented the 12 inch penis”

A movie that was brave enough to be pro-marijuana. This was pretty cool, actually.

Smoke and Flesh – 1968

First we have some gang-bangers that are so poor they don’t even have bikes. These cheapskates then invade a pot party of swingers. Lots of nice natural boobage ensues.

To get rid of the bikers, they slip the leader some acid (this is pretty risky, I’d think). But it works out, and the bikers take their freaking out leader away, and everyone else has sex. The End.

Friday, November 10, 2006
Warriors of Terra – 2006

PETA meets Species. The first question that comes to mind while watching this is: “Why does a girl who is accelerated sound like a cockroach skuttering about?”

Ultra-shakey cam, flash cut crazy, nearly unwatchable at places. Flash cuts can obviously cover a multitude of sins, like NO budget beyond the location.

A TERRIBLE ending, which finishes off ruining what was a poor movie to begin with. Another to avoid, as it has nothing to recommend it. No boobage, no action that isn’t hidden by flash cuts, plot paper thin and stupid. And finally, no extras.

IT2I2 – 2006 (a William Shatner DVD Club selection)

Robert Llewellyn (Kryten on Red Dwarf!) So it’s supposed to be a comedy then? Well, that’s a surprise. Hey, and there’s a Kryten doll behind a character. And there’s Danny John-Jules (Cat on Red Dwarf!).

And it is funny. A mockumentary about a computer program IN the Internet becoming self aware, and announcing itself by ringing every single telephone on the planet at the exact same moment.

There is a making of that’s as funny as the flick itself. It talks a lot about how they had no budget. There’s also an interview with Kevin Warwick, a real AI expert, and a very silly animation.

Saturday, November 11, 2006
Masters of Horror – Mikashi Miike – Imprint – 2006

From the man who gave us Audition (one of the most disturbing movies I’ve EVER seen. The little noise the woman makes that sounds like “Kitty kitty kitty” while driving needles into the guy’s eyes will stay with me forever) and Ichi the Killer. And it stars Billy Drago, who we just saw in Fort Doom!

Holy shit! Yeah, I can see why even the cable channel Showtime decided to pass on this one. Let’s see, torture, abortion, incest, yikes! Yeah, this may not be appropriate even for pay cable television.

No subtitles, but there is a pretty unusual commentary. First off, it doesn’t have anyone from the film, but a pair of “critics”. It’s also the first commentary I can remember when the people talk frankly about how the film is flawed. It’s funny too that they bitch so much about how it’s in English. But it makes sense. Miike was making a show for American TV, and “everyone knows” that we don’t read subtitles (except crazy people like me who want reality to be subtitled). So the actors had to learn their lines phonetically, hurting the acting. If he had known that Showtime was not going to show it, they could have done it in Japanese and the DVD would have been subtitled, and it would have been better.

As it is, it’s a powerful, disturbing movie. This is the new second best episode (still not as good as Cigarette Burns, but close).