Week of July 24 - July 30

WARNING: Some anti-religious rhetoric in this week’s entry. Proceed at your own comfort level.

Monday, July 24, 2006
A Virgin in Hollywood – 1948 – aka Should a Girl Say Yes?

     Boy, did I get a wrong number. I thought this was a new SWV collection. Instead, it turns out to be an Alpha Video double feature. This first feature is an early sexploitation flick by Dan Sonney. Of course, sexploitation should be taken with a block of salt for a movie made in 1948. A bare BACK was considered racy. This has to be one of the stupidest things I’ve seen in years. Or maybe I’m just too jaded, after years of porn and SWV flicks. Anywho, unless you are a collector of ancient burlesque, give this a pass.

Protect Your Daughters – 1933 – aka Reckless Decision

     Amazing. 73 years have passed, and the religious right haven’t changed their tune a single note. You could lift the minister’s rant out of this movie, and play it on Fox News, and no one would guess that it was made DURING THE DEPRESSION. Before WWII. I don’t understand what’s keeping this country going. We were supposed to be doomed three generations ago.

Here’s the really funny part. The shocking crime this girl performed? She got drunk (during prohibition) and got MARRIED! I guess they couldn’t show her just giving the guy a BJ. Anywho, she then has a big blowup with her dad, and storms out to “live in sin” with the guy, not remembering (she was drunk, remember) that they are married, and the guy doesn’t have the balls to tell her that they’re married. So, she thinks they’re having illicit sex, when in fact they are legal. Hysterical, huh?

The Suckling – 1990

     Ahhh, much better. Tit in the first reel. This will was the affects of the previous two pieces of antiquity off of me. And then it’s right into the ol’ leaking toxic waste barrel trick. Which creates one of the most disgusting puppets ever seen. Worse than anything in Meet the Feebles.

This movie is cheap and gross. I love it. I hate all the people in it, and so am rooting for the baby to kill every single one of them. Nothing like low budget gore and disgusting puppets killing people in gruesome ways to “brighten an otherwise dull afternoon.”

This movie must have been much longer at one time, as there are a whole bunch of named characters in the credits that aren’t in the movie. Senator and senator’s aid?

Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Drive In Double Feature – another Dark Sky DVD
War Between the Planets – 1966

     This flick was directed by Antonio Margheriti, who genre fans will recognize as the man who gave us such classics as Cannibal Apocalypse, Yor – The Hunter from the Future, and Code Name: Wild Geese.

This is grade Z Italian (yeah, I know, I’m repeating myself) Space Opera. The outer space scenes are especially guffaw producing. Instead of trying to dock, or land or anything, the characters just JUMP from their space ship to the space station. Now that’s cost saving thinking at it’s best.

Creation of the Humanoids – 1962

     This was supposed to be Andy Warhol’s favorite movie. I can see why. It’s both intellectually and visually interesting. With Subtitles! Although the R-1 robot appears to be the power suit from Earth vs the Flying Saucers.

Hey!  I know that voice! That’s Dudley Manlove, Eros from Plan 9. The deliverer of the classic line “Your stupid minds. Stupid, stupid!”

This really is a pretty good little flick. And it’s an entire Philosophy of Ethics course in one movie. If we ever actually create thinking, independent machines, this will be required viewing. Funny to think about the differences between this movie and A.I.  Both are about the injustices to thinking machines. But the big, new, expensive movie only makes it’s case with emotion, where this inexpensive, earlier movie does so with logic and reasoning.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006
The Curse of the Crying Woman – 1961

     Atmospheric, moody. Not unlike the the Universal monster movies of the 30’s. If your only exposure to Mexican movies is Santos (and they’re great, don’t get me wrong) then this movie will really surprise you in it’s technical competence. This movie looks and feels like Mario Bava’s Black Sunday.

There are subtitles, and a commentary by a film historian, who also happens to be a VP of the releasing company, Casa Negra.  The commentary is a little dry, but has some interesting nuggets if you can make it thru the periods of dead air. The two main actresses are real life mother daughter. That’s pretty cool. And the director WAS influenced by Bava, so that explains why they look so similar.

Thursday, July 27, 2006
Don’t Deliver Us From Evil – 1970

     French, with only English subtitles. Hey, it’s this the same story as Peter Jackson’s Heavenly Creatures?

Okay, I hate these girls. They hurt defenseless birds for no reason. They should die.

These two have a very strange relationship. It’s like the meek one WANTS to be ruined by the stronger. And in the end, we see that it IS different from Heavenly Creatures, but still kinda the same sort of thing. Didn’t expect that ending, but have to say I’m not displeased.

Overall, it’s kinda dull, unless you like watching a pair of French girls get other people and each other in trouble.

This is a Mondo Macabro release, so you know there’s gonna be some extras. There’s an interview with Paul Buck (who?) that’s fairly pointless, but at least it’s short. Then there’s an interview with the director. In it, he states that the movie is SO Anti-Catholic, that it was banned in France. Which is kinda funny, ‘cause those were the parts I liked. Overall, however, this was one of MM’s weakest releases.

Friday, July 28, 2006
Masters of Horror – Lucky McKee – Sick Girl – 2005

     This has some pretty interesting characters, and some excellent acting by the female cast. Including Misty Mundae, in her first non-Subversive Video release, I bet. And she plays a lesbian. Perfect! That should make it easy for her. She has a TON of practice at that.

I sure wish these discs had subtitles, but there is an excellent commentary with director, actors, and music editor. They sure had a good time.

And the disc is stuffed with extras. Interviews with Lucky, featurette about Lucky, and interviews with all the major actors (including Misty) and the bug wrangler!

I really liked this episode (this is maybe the second or third best so far), striking an excellent balance between humor and horror.

Saturday, July 29, 2006
War-Gods of the Deep – 1965

     Why the heck did I rent this? Not that it’s bad or anything. A classic piece of AIP and Vincent Price memorabilia. Great sets, crappy story.

The Changling – 1980

     Another movie I remember seeing at the theaters. Surprising to see George C Scott in a more sensitve role. This movie was shot with big lens, which makes everything seem weird, and lends a creepy feel.

Dark and slow.

But then it has some powerful scenes in the end, perhaps made more so by the slowness of the previous hour.

Sunday, July 31, 2006
Underworld – Evolution – 2006

     Well, it has subtitles, which is good, because the plot, at least during the first half hour, is utterly incomprehensible. I need a score card to follow this mess. But it is fast paced, with plenty of action. Just no brain.

I don’t mind suspending disbelief for things like vampires and werewolves, but the laws of physics still apply. There is no FREAKING way you can PULL a helicopter down from the sky. That werewolf would have to be made from dwarf star material to pull that off. That one little thing ruined the ending for me. It all seemed so staged and planned. I mean, as soon as he pulls the helicopter down, you know the bad guy is gonna be frappe’d.

The commentary has the director and several crew members, but no member of the cast, which is too bad. The commentary isn’t great, but it’s not awful either. And there was a whole slew of featurettes I just couldn’t care enough to watch. Sorry.