Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Side FX - 2005

Well, the makers of this movie tried to do was make up for a cheap production with novel ideas. Too bad there were so many poor production values, and the novel ideas were kinda weak. It's a vampire movie without any vampires. Just people driven mad by a designer drug (that was developed in the middle ages!) who THINK they need to drink blood. Okay, first off, I didn't know that drugs were a big problem in the middle ages. In fact, wouldn't it have been more likely to be called a potion? Second, the "creator" of the drug claims to have made it from documents he found from gypsies! Huh? Didn't know that gypsies were literate back then. We they not about the LAST people to get "edumacated"?

The cast is nice, especially the strippers hired to be the "women to get topless and make out" before biting each others' necks. Acting was all over the board. The main heroine got on my nerves before the end of the movie, and I wanted her to get et. No such luck. I rooted for the poor geek guy, who everybody pretended to like. I guess its cause I empathized with him.

Anywho, as usual, the geeky guy (who is forced to wear a cow costume for about 1/2 of the movie, something no self-respecting geek would ever do) is right all along, but does what the heroine tells him to do against his better judgement, and so of course dies. Bastards!

The commentary on this disc is really the directory and the geek talking about how many things they did wrong. They point out about 100 continuaty mistakes. (Special note to directors: No one thinks you're cool for doing this. Get a script, and give it to someone! Sheesh!) No details on costs, equipment (except the Panasonic camera that broke the first day), no real good details at all. Pretty boring commentary, overall.

Only other extra is a good deleted scenes and outtakes featurette. Picture was, say it along with me now
TOO DAMN DARK!
Yeah, I know, I'm a broken record. But it ain't scary if I can't tell what the hell is happening. If I want only scary sounds, I'd collect MP3s, not DVDs. [okay, rant over, I feel better now]

Two beers out of five. One for novel idea, one for nice stripper bosums.