Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Death Valley: The Revenge of Bloody Bill (2004)

Okay, picture this. A zombie western written by a pair of Asian-Americans. Take a wild stab as to how good this is? Did you guess NOT? You win the prize, kid. Pick anything from the bottom row.
First off, the movie is shot on Fuji film, with funky orange filters. Fuji film, in my opinion, has an green tint to it. Add to that the filter, and the color just gets irrating after awhile. Then, there’s this token black drug dealer, that I just found offensive. He seems to have been added just so they can claim to have a black man in the cast, and up the “curse” quota.

Finally, although the movie tries to market itself as a gore flick, it really isn’t. There’s a lot of blood, but not much actual gore. This is a zombie movie. We want meat being pulled from the bone. Oh, and some naked chicks would be nice (although I admit it would have been hard to work into the script).

You watch a movie like this, which had a lot of potential, and you have to wonder, “Did the director (Byron Werner) even try?” The answer, if you listen to the commentary, is, NO! I have never heard a commentary where so many mistakes were explained away as “Ah, screw it, it’s a horror movie”. This guy has nothing but contempt for this genre and his audience. I hope he does all us horror fans a favor, and doesn’t revisit the genre.

Two out of five beers.